Why do hockey movies suck? Aside from SlapShot there really are not any decent hockey movies. Miracle wasn’t bad, but it skipped over so much good stuff and glossed over the US team being down in the Gold medal game and having to come back and win that game as well. One of the worst hockey movies EVER was Youngblood. I despise that movie and here are my reasons why:

10. Peter Zezel was the skating consultant on the film. (How the hell did Zezel score 600 points in the NHL? Did they count his goals in warm-up too?)

9. When Rob Lowe comes on the ice he steps on with both feet and then takes a stride. All hockey players hit the ice in stride when they come onto the ice. Lowe looks like he is heading out for the all skate at the local rink.

8. His dad kicks his ass in the barn.

7. Keanu Reeves is the only character that is realistic. All goalies are awkward and weird, and he was the ideal choice.

6. Swayze is about 10 years too old for junior hockey and I found this on the Youngblood IMDB page “Patrick Swayze had been trained as a figure skater but never played hockey.” (Though I like this quote from his character in the movie, “Thank God there is a sport for middle-sized white boys.”)

5. The girlfriend in the movie is listening to the radio broadcast in class. I didn’t know that the Junior leagues played hockey at 11 AM on a Tuesday.

4. The coach was using sending the players to the Tallahassee Warthogs as a threat. Come on, where would an 18 year old rather play? Shithole, Canada where it is 27 degrees all freaking year or Florida where it is 90 and sunny all year?

3. The older brother’s first name was “Blane.”

2. The biggest mistake is the clock ticking down during the penalty shot at the end of the game. The clock does not move during penalty shots. That part of the movie really pisses me off.

1. No way Youngblood could have beaten up Raacki. None at all. That would have been like Gretzky training in his basement for a week and then taking on and destroying Terry O’Reilly at center ice in the old Boston Garden. (Raacki was played by George Finn who racked up over 400 career penalty minutes in his short junior hockey career. He made a comeback in the Colonial League with the Brantford Smoke in 1994. He had 1 goal and 17 PMs in 2 games.)

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